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- Be a Fundamentalist — make sure the Fun always comes before the mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, and that will insure regularhilarity.
- Remember that each of us has been given a special gift — just for entering. So you are already a winner!
- The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don’t like the programming we’re getting, we can change the channel.
- Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop. And, no matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you –He’s just not ready to make a commitment.
- It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when you’re tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami’s Absurdiveness Training class: “Don’t get even, get odd.”
- If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That’s where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way, there’ll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.
- I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you’re looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a fault, just don’t dwell on it.
- There’s no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world, and we’ll never have to change it again.
- If you’re looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is — there is no key to the Universe. The good news is — it has been left unlocked.
- Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don’t like it, it’s not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy. So you don’t have to go through channels.